Lindy West’s Guide to Sex and Dating
How to Get with a Girl if You Are a Boy
Here’s the main thing: Don’t be creepy. Girls can smell your weird, insecure, predatory creepin’ from a mile away (hint: It smells like DiGiorno and Axe body spray!). Groom yourself, don’t try too hard, don’t use pick-up lines, don’t stare, and try to visibly have fun. People (women are people!) like to be around people who are fun. Don’t be too aggressive, but don’t be too timid. Most importantly, talk to women like they are humans with interests and lives and things to say, not just fleshy collections of holes that you would like to put your penis into. Oh, and please don’t wear sandals. No one wants to look at your weird red toes.
How to Get with a Boy if You Are a Girl
Exist. Smile. Wash yourself. Go to places where other people are. Have fun. Congrats! Penis in vagina!
